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Kara Ayala | Why We Love Dads

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Hosted by
Mike Ayala

On this episode of Investing For Freedom, Mike shares a recent clip from Kara Ayala’s Money, Marriage and Mayhem podcast. They discuss why we love dads and the importance of having good qualities for your kids. Kara emphasizes this point with her children as they share three of their favorite qualities about Mike and how he has positively affected them.

“I just hope that this helps encourage all of you parents out there and especially you dads, because I think dads have such an amazing role and I think they’re very underestimated in today’s day and age.”

FIND | KARA AYALA:

Podcast: Marriage, Money & Mayhem
Instagram: @Kara_Ayala

HIGHLIGHTS:

0:00 – Intro
2:23 – Kara mentions how she really wants to honor dads out there in this episode
4:06 – Kara shares some reasons as to why she appreciates her dad
6:53 – Kara shares how she has always loved the fact that Mike has always been present
8:47 – Kara tells us that her favorite thing about Mike is that he is a ‘Yes Dad’ and explains this further
11:01 – Kara sends appreciation and honor to all the dads out there and reminds them that their efforts don’t go unnoticed
11:20 – Kara encourages you to share a quality that you pride yourself in and a quality you love about a father figure in your life. Share this on your Instagram story and tag @kara_ayala
12:21 – Kara’s daughter Kayton shares three important qualities that her dad has and provides us examples of how he displays these qualities
16:21 – Kara’s son Tim shares his thoughts on what qualities are important for a father figure to have and also tells us some of Mike’s qualities
20:01 – Kara’s eldest son Dylan gives us an insight into what he appreciates the most from Mike and also what qualities he thinks it takes to be a good father figure
22:10 – Dylan explains how Mike being passionate and a hard worker has impacted his life positively
23:19 – Kara states how she wanted to dedicate this episode to giving tips and tricks that Mike has done for their kids and share how much an impact and influence you have on your kids as a dad

FULL TRANSCRIPTION:

Today on marriage, money, and mayhem, I really wanted to honor fathers and dads out there of just the ways that they show up. And I was listening to a conversation the other day and the guy, he actually is kind of saying that a lot of men are not rising up to be true men. And he was saying, it was like the woman’s fault because the women are like raising men. And so they’re not being able to, they’re not stepping into that very like masculine role they’re taking on more of that feminine role. And Mike and I were talking, we’re like, well, where are the dads? Where are the dads in these situations? And I just, I am so thankful. And I just so honor all of you fathers and you dads out there that really are just pouring into your kids and are present in their lives.

And I just, I don’t want it to go unnoticed. I think that there’s a little bit of a man slamming thing going on. And that’s just the farthest from my heart. And I want you to know if you are a dad or a father or a grandfather, even like an uncle or a brother, like we need you. And we need that strong, masculine energy that you guys are giving us. And it completes us as individuals and as a community in this world.

So I just wanted to share a couple of things. First of all, I wanted to, I’m bringing on my kids today just to share from their perspective, because I think that’s always cool to hear from like a kid’s perspective of the things that they really appreciate in their dad and in a father figure. But I wanted to just share some of the things that I appreciate about my own dad, and then the things that I appreciate  about Mike too.

So the thing that I love about my dad is he is somebody, this is something that I just love so much about him. He is loyal, loyal, loyal, loyal, and I know that he always has my back. And I remember when I was younger and him telling me, sitting down and like, you’re getting kind of a little bit older and he’d be like, I just want you to know if you tell me the truth, always tell me the truth and I will always have your back no matter what, like, doesn’t matter what’s happening. If you’re wrong, whatever’s going on, I will always have your back as long as you tell me the truth.

Because he had to know that like, what was happening. And I don’t think that I fully understood it. When I was younger, I don’t think that I fully understood that he really meant that he would have my back thick, thin, no matter what was happening. Because when you’re growing up and you’re a teenager, you kind of were like, oh my gosh, you’re scared to screw up.

But now today, looking back, I’m so thankful. And I can just feel that support of that time when he, I know that no matter what, he would always have my back. I know that he would never turn his back on me and just having that support and that love was just so empowering to me, because I did, even though it was like, do you really have my back? You know, when you’re a teenager or, young, young adult, I knew that like, if something was ever going to be wrong, that he would like fully support me.

And then the other thing I love about my dad is he just is always going over and above for everyone around him and always making sure that, or working hard, that’s something he really, really instilled in us as kids is like making sure that you’re like showing up and you’re doing the job right. And you’re not just skipping corners and being lazy, but you’re actually working hard. And so I really appreciate him instilling that inside of me.

And then just the way that he shows up for even my mom. And I think this is really important for people to listen to too, is knowing that he always loved my mom, even when they were fighting or something’s going on in the relationship, the way that he loves my mom and shows up for her and supports her and just wants her to be so happy has always been such a great example for me, of who, how I like searched out my own husband and knowing that that’s something that I really wanted in my life as somebody who would cherish me.

And so that’s another thing that I think a lot of times as parents, we might not consider that like a quality of a parent, but it is, you’re setting an example of what the standard is for marriage or a relationship in your kid’s future lives. And so that’s something that I always appreciated about my dad is the way that he cared and loved and still does to this day, cared, and loved my mom so much. So those are my, like top three things about my dad.

And then for Mike, there probably will be some crossovers with what I say about Mike and what my kids say about him. But one thing that I’ve always just so appreciated and loved about Mike is that he’s always present. He’s always the dad that is like showing up to everything. He has never missed any event, even being, we started our business when we were younger in our early twenties. And I think it’s easy when you have a really amazing career or success that you think, a lot of parents will be like, oh, well, I’ll make time for that later. Or this is more important because this is how I provide for this  activity that they’re involved in. And that’s something that Mike always was really, really good about.

He always showed up for the kids, any kind of activities they were doing, anything they were involved in. He was a very, very present dad and he still is. I’m talking like, he’s not a dad anymore. He still is to this day. Like he’s very present, we are moving Tim next week. And he has been like so involved in the moving process and, helping him get the U-Haul and we’re going to move him down there. And some parents might not do that. And that’s something that I just really love about him is he takes time and make sure that they feel like they are a priority.

And then what are the other things? He believes in their dreams, and this is something that I think is important too, is like empowering your kids to dream. And then also making that like, you’re pouring belief into it. So even if it’s not something that like you might be interested in as a parent, but like just pouring that belief into whatever it is that they’re interested in. Because that just pours that, that belief in themselves, knowing that like anything is possible and I can do this and my dad believes I can do this, so I can do it. And then also giving them the permission to change their mind too. That’s something that I really love about Mike and as a dad.

And then the other thing that is probably my favorite thing about Mike is that he is a yes dad and I am a yes mom now too. But when the kids were younger, I think I’ve told this story on another podcasts before, but I remember when they would have sleepovers or something like that. And I would be like, when I was younger, we could only have like one sleepover a week. Sometimes more than that. But like, that was just the thing. So when we start having kids and they would have a sleep over and then the next night, if they wanted to have a sleepover, I would be like, no, you can’t because you did last night. And Mike would start asking me like, but why? What are we doing? Are we going to be doing something? And just making it like, what’s the big deal? Why can’t they have the sleepover? And I realized I was doing that a lot in just different areas of my parenting style is just saying no, because you hear their parents say like the kids ask why. And they’re like, because I’m the parent, because I said so and kind of that attitude. And so I started shifting my way of thinking too, because of this. And it’s just something that we both do now being the yes parents. So that means you say yes, as much as you can.

And this is what happens when you say yes, is you become, when you say no, that’s for a reason. So it’s not just like, you’re always saying yes, there’s times where you have to say no there’s times where it’s not, it could be dangerous or something is not good for them. But when you say no at that point, it’s like, they know that there’s a reason for it. It’s not just that you’re saying no, because you’re the parent. So that’s something that I just really appreciate about Mike because he’s a yes dad.

And I think another thing that happens when you are a yes parent is you teach them that the universe always says, yes. Whatever they’re desiring, whatever they’re needing in their life, the universe says yes. There’s always a way. And so I think that that really instills in them more of an abundant mindset of yes, it’s possible. Yes, whatever I’m needing, it’s a yes. Whatever I’m desiring, it’s a yes. And if it’s a no, then there’s either a reason, there’s a really big reason why there’s a no, or maybe there’s an obstacle that we need to overcome. And we’re going to find a way to that yes.

So I just appreciate dads and father figures so much. So I just want to honor all fathers out there and just say thank you, thank you for pouring your time and your love. And it doesn’t go unnoticed and you are so valuable. So I just appreciate you so much. And I hope that you had an amazing Father’s Day. And I would love to hear some of the things if you’re a woman and you’re listening to this, or if you’re a man, tell me, like, what is a quality that you pride yourself in as a parent? If you’re a dad and then if you have spouse tag me in a story on Instagram at Kara_ayala, and tell me, what is it about your spouse or maybe about your dad, what is it that makes them an exceptional father?

So, first off, we’re going to start with Katelyn. She is our youngest daughter and she’s 17. And so Katelyn I’m so, this is the first time she’s ever been on this podcast. And I actually want to really just have each of them on individually. Cause they all have their own gifts, but I wanted to bring each of them on today to just share, what they think good qualities of a father or a dad are. And for all of you dads out there listening. And so Katelyn, I’m so excited that you’re here today and let’s just start out with like three qualities that you think make a good dad or a good father.

Katelyn: Hey, So I think that the three most important qualities in my dad is he’s really supportive, super comforting, and he’s very passionate about life.

I so agree with all of those. So super supportive. What are like some ways that he is supportive? Can you give like some examples of that?

Katelyn: Yeah. So my whole life, just anything that I want to do, or even just like ideas that I have, he’s always the first to like encourage me to jump on them. Like all the time, no matter what they are. And even if I’m not serious about them, I always know that he is like going to be there and be on board for whatever I want. And even if I like make a mistake, like he’s just always there to encourage me and just push me forward. And I think that’s really important.

Yeah. That’s so cool. And then the second one was what was the second one? Comforting. Okay. Yeah. So what about comforting? What are ways that he has been comforting?

Katelyn: He just like has this perspective of life that like, it’s really not that big of a deal. And that’s really rubbed off on me. Like anytime I’m thinking about something and I’m anxious about it, I just think about it like worst case scenario. And then like, it’s not a big deal and that’s always how my dad is like, he’s so comforting when things are wrong. Like if I’m ever anxious and I go to him, I always feel so much better like after the conversation, because he always just makes me feel like it’s not that big of a deal. And even if it’s like terrible, like you can still move on from there. And it’s like, not the end of the world. Nothing is the end of the day world.

Oh, I love that one so much, because it’s so true. We can get worked up so easily in life and think things are really a big deal. And like you said, even if it is something that is a big deal, having like that conversation of, there’s that saying, like, if this thing happening to you right now, isn’t going to affect you in five years, you shouldn’t be worrying about it. And I just think that’s such a great perspective that I love that that’s something that you have learned from him because that is a skill that a lot of people, it takes a long time we have to reparent ourselves. So I’m really, that makes me really happy that you have that one and then the last one is…

Katelyn: Passionate about life. So I think that my dad is like seriously, probably the most passionate person about life that I’ve ever known in my whole life. He’s just so like excited about everything. And he just has this like desire to do like everything and things that make him excited. And he doesn’t have this like perspective that life is like about work or anything like that. He’s like very experience oriented. Like he just loves life. And that is so important. Like growing up to have somebody who’s like excited about life and like just seeing my dad go after what he wants. Like that was just so, like life-changing for me, I think it really changed like who I am as a person.

I love this so much. I’m so happy that you came on here today and just shared those, because these are all just qualities that I think any good father or dad, or even just as a parent, not even as a dad, but as a mom, but since we’re focusing on dads right now for Father’s Day and I just am so thankful for you and your heart, and I’m so happy that you came on today to share.

Katelyn: Thank you. I’m very thankful for you too and dad.

You want to say anything to dad real quick, cause he’s going to be listening to this?

Katelyn: Yeah, dad, I love you so much. And I could never have asked for a better dad and I’m so thankful that you are my dad.

Okay. So now we have Tim, he is 19 years old and he’s getting ready to move to LA and pursue his dreams. And so today I’m really excited to have him on here as well as all of the kids. But I just really wanted to honor Mike and all dads out there of, what are those qualities. So Tim, can you just share some of the qualities that you think are important in a dad or that, your dad, Mike has brought out the other dads can maybe glean some wisdom from.

Tim: Yeah. So the first one I would say is that he doesn’t try to force anything on me. He lets me be my own person. And then he leads by example with anything he’s trying to teach me. And lastly, he’s just always there, like whether it’s like a sporting event or anything else we’re doing, he’s always there to support.

Okay. So for the first one the one that’s let you be your own person, how has that like affected you as a person? Or can you give like an example of ways that he just lets you, how you feel and how he like shows that? Because I think a lot of parents, we want to give that, but sometimes it’s hard to get that across. So like maybe some ways that you have noticed that he shares that?

Tim: Well, I just think all, like, first of all, we’re just very like different. Like I’m more into like creative kind stuff and he’s into like fishing and hunting and golf, but he’s never tried to like make me do those things. And he’s kind of like allowed me to do what I want to do, which is like more creative things, music and art and that sort of thing. So I think like when somebody tries to force something on you, it’s not going to go well, because you’re just not going to want to do it.

Mm. I love that one because I do think a lot of parents live their lives vicariously through their kids and try to make their kids do all the things that maybe they wish that they would have done or so that’s a really good one. And then he leads by example, share like a ways that he shows you that.

Tim: He’s always, obviously trying to teach us stuff about whether it’s like business or just enjoying life in general or taking your freedom for yourself. And like, I think it’s pretty important for if somebody is trying to teach you something, they can’t just tell you how to do something. They actually have to show you too. And I think he does a great job with like, just taking control of your own life, doing what you want to do. And also just enjoying things like he enjoys every minute of his life. And yeah, he’s kind of allowed me to kind of take from that and be able to just enjoy the little things.

Awesome. Okay. And then the last one he’s always there for you.

Tim: Yeah. I mean, this one’s just kind of it doesn’t go like super deep, but he’s just always there. He’s always at the baseball games, the soccer games when we were little, my sisters dance. And even when it’s not something about like sports, he’s always going to try to be there and be a part of whatever we’re doing and be the biggest fan and supporter for us. So I think that none of us would be where we are today without him being able to support us the way he does.

I love that one too, because it’s just, you know, really about presence, right? Like being a presence in our children’s lives and making sure that we are showing up in a big way. And even if it is a little things or you think it’s not a big deal, it is a big deal just to be like showing up and showing your kids that like, you’re going to be there no matter what. And they are the most important thing in your life. So thank you so much for coming and sharing. And I know dad is going to be super blessed and I know that this is going to help a lot of other parents too.

Okay. And then last but not least. So you have Dylan here and he is 21 years old. And so Dylan just tell us like a couple of things we barely want to just honor dads today and maybe give some tips to other parents who maybe are looking for ways to be a better parent or what it takes to be a good parent. And just the three things that you love about your dad. About dad.

Dylan: My dad, Mike is caring, loving, and passionate. He’s always checking up on everybody. He always is caring about how everybody is doing. Not only emotionally, but just in life in general. He always checks up on everybody. And I really love that about him.

Do you think, like, is he like checking up like on you as his kid? Or do you just see that, like in general, like when you’re saying caring, is he caring towards everyone or like, are you mostly talking about like how he’s caring towards you and maybe your brother and sister?

Dylan: Both for sure. Like he checks up on us as his kids too, but even everybody around him, I always hear him on his little voice memo thing or voice text thing, always talking to his friends. They’re always talking about how they’re doing, what they’re doing every day.

Yeah. That’s awesome. All right. And what was the second one? So caring and?

Dylan: Loving. So the second one I put is loving. I feel like he’s actually kind of softer. He has as like a softer side to him. He’s really loving. He loves everybody around him. Like I said, kind of goes along with caring, but he loves really hard too.

Yeah. I like that you even brought that up because I think a lot of times with men they can maybe ignore their like softer side or try to be tough and try to be which he is tough. Like he can have a tough side, but having like that softer side and being able to lean into that, I think is really powerful as a dad because it shows you that it’s okay for you to have a softer side too.

Dylan: Yeah. He’s tough as well, but he definitely has a soft side too.

All right. And then number three is…

Dylan: Passionate. So for the third one, I put passionate, he’s always passionate about whatever he’s doing, whether it’s life or work, or he’s always going really hard. He’s passionate about everything that he does and he works really hard, so that’s really inspiring.

And how has that with like your life and who you are today, like being passionate.

Dylan: Yeah, it has definitely helped me. Just seeing him every day, work hard, even when he doesn’t want to, or just being passionate, loving everything that he does. And if he doesn’t like something, then he doesn’t keep doing it. He quits and I think that’s really cool.

Yeah. Has that given you permission to like, not do things that you don’t enjoy too?

Dylan: Yeah. For sure. If I said that I didn’t want to do like say wake surfing anymore. I know that he would, he’d be fine with it. And that’s something that’s really cool about him too, is he pushes you, but if you don’t want to do anymore, it’s totally up to you. He doesn’t force anything.

So awesome. So that was the last one. And I just hope that this helped encourage all of you parents out there and especially you dads, because I think dads have such an amazing role. And I think they’re very underestimated in today’s day and age, and just empowering all of you dads out there and moms to empower your spouses. And if you’re a kid, wherever a dad is you in your life, like making sure that we are appreciating them and telling them the things that they’re doing that are really making a difference in our lives. So we just love dads. We love men. I just wanted to really dedicate this whole episode to tips and tricks that Mike has done for our kids. And coming from that perspective of how much of an influence you have as a dad. So I hope you guys have a great day and I hope you had an amazing Father’s Day.

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