In this episode of the Investing for Freedom podcast, Mike talks to Matty A, a GoBundance member, and real estate expert. Mike and Matty talk about a wide range of things including how to keep your mind in the right state and how creating the right energy will lead to success.
“Show up with energy to anything that you do, energy is infectious, and if you can be a charging station everywhere you go to give others some of your energy, some of your light, peoply will be drawn to you.”
FIND | Matty A:
0:00 – Intro and background to Matty A
1:15 – Mike and Matty talk about relationships
6:11 – The ‘aha moment’ for Matty is when he noticed the two types of millionaire
9:12 – Mike asks who has had the greatest impact on Matty’s life
12:33 – mike talks about how Ken McElroy told him his goal every day is to call his mom
13:07 – Matty talks about a conference he was at and a quote that stuck out to him is “no man can ever outperform the opinion of his children”
16:29 -Matty touches on how he’s worked on his relationships and how tension can be good for any relationship
23:07 – “I’m a loving human being, but my standards are not”
26:20 – Matty talks about the one thing that has had the biggest impact on his success
38:08 – Matty talks about how he has built a bunker around his energy
41:02 – You’ve gotta find those places that are energy chargers, which are rare
46:08 – Mike asks what Matty’s greatest setback is and what he learned from it
52:57 – Mike asks what the advice Matty finds himself sharing the most
56:15 – Mike asks if Matty has people chosen for who he goes to for certain areas in his life like a board of directors
1:00:28 – Mike asks about the tribal council which David Osborn spoke about on the Millionaire Mindcast (https://millionairemindcast.libsyn.com/-the-humble-journey-to-becoming-a-billionaire-david-osborn)
1:10:52 – Matty talks about how he pulls a tarot card every day
1:13:58 – Mike and Matty talk about what he does as well as who he is
Mike Ayala: Thank you for joining me on The Investing for Freedom Podcast. Today I’m super excited about this show because I’ve got a guest on Matty A and I was on his podcast a few weeks ago and we just had such an amazing time. So I know the conversation today is going to be great, but rather than digging into me, we’re going to dig into him. And I am just fascinated. Every time I get to spend time with this guy, it’s just an energizing conversation. I always take something away. I’m always inspired. I’m always encouraged. And when you find someone like that in your life, you’ve got to make sure that you stick with them and stick around them. And so Matty, thanks for being on the show, man.
Matty A: Dude, I’m glad I’m in the stick factor category and that we get to have some more fun together.
Mike Ayala: Stick with it. I love it. You know, we talk about it all the time, but I’m just so grateful for GoBundance, which is where I got to connect with you and just what an amazing tribe. And it’s amazing when you get in groups and organizations like that, where you don’t have to work as hard to kind of, you know, the old saying like birds of a feather flock together. Well, it’s so true because I’ve had so many conversations lately where people are like, you know, I need a new group of friends and I don’t know where to find them. And I’m like, man, you’re totally looking in the wrong place. Like, you know, people congregate and so super thankful for that tribe and thankful for you.
Matty A: Back at you, man. It really is one of those things where I often kind of take inventory. I do, you know, a little bit of a quarterly exercise, reflective non goals, progress where I fell short. And part of that exercise consists of what I just call, you know basically a relationship audit and I’ll usually draw a line down the center of a piece of paper on the left. I’ll put positive and multiplication sign on the right. I’ll put, you know, subtraction and division. And when I look at who I’m spending the majority of my time with, or getting engaged you know, with, in terms of conversations, trips, events, conferences, all of that kind of stuff. Pretty much every single GoBundance guy that I get to spend time with is always on that positive and multiplication side. And, you know, it just makes me extremely grateful to have found that group at a young age. I mean, I’ve been, I think a part of GoBundance going on seven years now. And when I think about not only all of the growth that I’ve experienced, just, you know, in business, which is really why I joined the group, but more importantly, I wasn’t a dad yet. I wasn’t married yet. The growth that I’ve experienced, you know, emotionally and spiritually giving back to other people it really was probably, you know, one of the greatest decisions that I ever made in my life. And you hear a lot of people talk about right, like mentors and finding your tribe and somewhat, when you’re removed from that, or you haven’t experienced it yet, it sounds cliche. Your network is your net worth, and you hear all of the sings, but when you get to really like experience it so many gardens of your life on such a deep level, I have just this immense gratitude for not only all of those relationships and experiences, but it also, you know, turns my radar on to how I can be a catalyst and help other people along the way in finding those kinds of communities and groups as well, based on what their goals are and what they’re looking to accomplish. That’s why I’m grateful that, you know, I get to, I met you, you and I get to hang out a couple of times a year and grow and mastermind and strategize. And there’s so many things that I pulled and integrated into my own life, just from simple conversations that we’ve had, you know.
Mike Ayala: It is so good. I was actually just recorded a podcast with two women that are, they run a tribe called girl mentorship and they mentor young tweens and teens, and I was having a conversation with them and this just kind of, I had this epiphany it’s so great to be in groups like that because, you know, we think, I think a lot of times you were just talking about like the cliche, your network is your net worth and that kind of stuff. I think that a lot of guys, even when we start having conversations about GoBundance or some of these different groups that we have this idea that we’re going in there, and it’s all about, you know, real estate or raising capital or whatever it is and the reality, I’m so thankful for this group, because it helps me be so rounded. And I think that’s why the guys, it’s so fun. Cause you know, I’ve only been in the group for, I think probably two and a half years. You’ve been there longer. But I remember my first time like walking into this room and I’m like, what the hell is this place? And by the end of the event, like, I felt like I had grown in so many areas where you go to like a real estate event and you learn how to do a little real estate better. But like with GoBundance I left after three or four days and I’m like, I felt like I had expanded in almost every area of life. And I was just telling these girls that I was on the podcast with like watching these guys that are there for the first time and just having the same, like what the hell is this place? And it’s because there’s been a focus on so many different areas of life. So yeah, I’m just, I’m grateful too.
Matty A: Yeah. To me, I think for why people listen to your show right, for probably a variety of reasons, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that people are motivated to build wealth, right. To unlock that next level of wealth and financial freedom because that ultimately unlocks so many other potential opportunities to 2.0 and take your life and level up, you know, as a husband and as a, you know or a wife or as a parent or somebody that’s passionate about giving back to causes and charities. And when I went into that group, it was like, how do I make more money? I’m going to surround myself with a bunch of millionaires and how do I make more money and the aha for me and why I love GoBundance so much is I noticed two types of millionaires and we all know who these people are. We’ve either met them in person, or you’ve heard somebody talk about people like this, male, female, doesn’t matter who they are, people that are financial killers and have unlocked, you know, how to create wealth, but they’re bankrupt in the relationships with their partners, they’re estranged from their kids. They don’t give back to anybody else. They don’t care to, or even think about giving back to anybody else. They’re workaholics, their health is, you know, failing them or they’re overweight. They don’t feel good. They’re high stressed. And then there’s that other individual who’s not only, you know, a millionaire in their bank account, but they’re living like a millionaire and as purposefully and as intentionally and as enlightened in all of the other gardens of their life as well. And, you know, over the course of the last, you know, seven, eight years myself what I’ve come to uncover is, I’m still very money motivated. That’s not going to change. It’s something that I like to do, because I know my intention behind why I’m doing it is very pure. I know I can create financial freedom and security for myself, for my family at that time that I can’t get back. But I also know that I can use that money for so many amazing things that will have so many other ripple effects in other areas that go far beyond me and serving Matt. And my definition of wealth is, you know, building a life that goes far beyond how many commas and zeros you have in your bank account.
Mike Ayala: That’s good.
Matty A: And when you connect with more people like that, all it does is enhance that vision and expand the opportunities for you to actually go out and do that in a way that you feel not only are you capable of doing, but that, you know it is possible for you and the other people around you. And so when you get in those environments, they’re the catalyst for it, right? And you just happened to be the person that is going to be the vehicle in terms of how you show up and lead your life and execute on what that vision looks like to have a much greater impact, because at the end of the day, right, I mean, I’m not taking any of my possessions to the grave. I’m going to be either passing them on or I’m going to be selling them off. And so for me, I want to look back in the rear view mirror of my life and not, you know, look up at all the trophies on my wall or all the money in my bank account. I want to go, damn that was a hell of a ride, the good, the bad, the peaks, valleys, the people that I was with. That’s more important to me than the money, but at the end of the day, the money is going to be something that allows me to have the most epic ride as I look back and see that all play out in my rear view mirror.
Mike Ayala: Well said, man, like, I feel like we could just end right there, and it’d be an amazing show. Like that was awesome. So I want to circle back to the four questions cause I have never done a show without it. And I think it’ll just unlock some amazing conversation. So who’s had the greatest impact on your life.
Matty A: You know, when I think about that, I was really thinking about that and I have kind of a board of directors and all the gardens my life. And so I think about so many people have had significant impacts on my life based on the season of my life that I was in and really what gaps I was trying to fill or where I was trying to go, what I was trying to accomplish. And so that was a hard question for me to narrow it down on when I looked at, you know, and really thought about the thread of my overall life. And I know it might sound like a cliched answer, but my mom and my dad are two people that have hands down, had the greatest consistent impact in my life. They’ve been there for me in my darkest times. And, you know, I’m sure I’ll share some of those later on in the show. And they’ve been there at my brightest times and ultimately it was that unconditional love that somebody gives you to give you the belief in yourself when you don’t even have it in that moment. And to kind of give you that extra nudge and push that sometimes I didn’t even know I needed. And to me, that’s something that I could never repay them for. And it really has impacted my life in so many different ways outside of just being successful and having an impact in business or as an entrepreneur, but more importantly showing me that I can be an amazing father, that I can be an amazing husband. I can be an amazing friend and son, that I can give back to people, you know, in ways that I would have never even thought about because of the way they led their lives. Now we have completely different personalities in many ways and completely different life journeys in so many different ways, but there’s this intangible belief and love, right? That you just necessarily can’t measure and weigh, but you can feel and know has played an extremely integral part in where I’m at today in my life. And so for me to kind of narrow it down to who’s had the greatest impact, I would say it’s both my parents and I don’t know a lot of people. And I’m so grateful for this that say that, like, I have an amazing relationship with both my parents and that takes work every damn day. And we butt heads all the time. And I work with my mom and I actually work with my dad in certain capacities. And so to be able to have that as the blessing in my life that’s something that I really reflect on a lot and I’m very grateful for.
Mike Ayala: That’s so cool. Cause a lot of you said this already, but a lot of people can’t say that and a lot of them, you know, a lot of the answers not so much who’s had the greatest impact, but a lot of the reasons why we are who we are and we’re successful a lot of times is linked to a negative connotation with, you know, our parents. But that’s amazing that you’ve had that relationship. And as you were saying that I was thinking, actually I had Ken McElroy come in and speak, Kara and I run a couple’s mastermind and he was speaking there. And one of the guys that’s in the group was asking, you know, Ken about his big why and all the reasons why he does what he does, and you know, Ken’s been a super successful real estate guy. When you were saying all of this, it really reminded me of what Ken said. And he’s like, you know, at the end of the day, I just keep it pretty simple. He’s like my number one goal every day is to just call my mom. And I was like, what? And then he went on to talk about like how amazing and what an impact his mom had been on his life. And it’s just so full circle. Cause you know, like you said, I love the way that you talked about the gardens and you know, money and we need money like to have a great life. And I mean, I guess you don’t need it, but the reality is it makes it so much easier. And when I look at somebody like Ken and I look at somebody like you, and you just bring it back to that, like the relationship and the way you are with your wife and your two little girls and there’s not a whole lot that really matters in life at the end of the day. And so I really appreciate that about you.
Matty A: No. I’ve learned a lot of that from people being around people like you, you know we were at a conference earlier this year and I always pick like a couple main bullet points that stick out to me or quotes that really impact me. And the one that really stood out to me this last year was no man can ever outperform the opinion of his children. And I was thinking about that, you know, and the way I not only want to live my life so that my children feel that way about me. But also, I was thinking about how do I feel about both my parents? And I’m so proud of both my parents. I am so grateful for both of my parents. And I know some people might be listening and go, well, you know, I don’t have a good relationship with my parents, or I don’t even have parents in my life anymore. And that’s something that I really try and make sure that I’m taking note and inventory of because you know, we all are given gifts and blessings in certain areas of our life that some people have and don’t have. And even though my parents divorced when I was really young, I was gifted two hall of fame human beings on planet earth that I want to make sure that I acknowledge and give credit where credit is due.
Mike Ayala: Wow. Do your parents listen to podcasts?
Matty A: Yeah. Every once in a while, they do, but I might, yeah, I might send this one out.
Mike Ayala: Yeah. If you want to know what I really think.
Matty A: Dude I look at the way you and your son and your kids are man, I mean, you know people recognize that in other people too. And I see that in how you not only lead your relationship with your wife, but with your kids. And so I just think it’s, you know, it’s cool because it not only inspires me to lead that way with my children, but I’m grateful that I have so many role models around me to kind of pick and pull and put my own spin and flavor on things that I like learning from other individuals and just being in proximity, learning through osmosis.
Mike Ayala: You know, I’m reminded, I don’t mean to keep bringing this up, but it was just fresh. The podcasts that I was just on, I just had these girls on my podcast and there, they run this group called girl mentorship, which as your girls get older would be a great organization for them. But we were having kind of the same conversation and really at the end of the day, we were talking about parents and teens, right. And my daughter’s a gem. All my kids are a gem. And they’re not perfect in any way, shape, or form, but we’ve really poured a lot of time into being there and being present and being a support for them. And Jill and Mary were talking about this a lot of the times when, you know, a mom or a dad will, you know, have their kids sign up or their kid wants to sign up for girl mentorship. And a lot of times the mom will be like, you know, we need you to fix our daughter. And she’s this certain way. And Jill and Mary were talking about like half the time, the way that that little girl is acting, being a shit head is just like the exact image of her mom. Like, and they were talking about that. Like a lot of times you know, we think that our children are broken and then, but we’re the adult in the relationship, like how much time and energy have you put into that. And I love just even kind of the thread of this, your parents have poured so much into you and the way that you look at everything and pouring into your children and your wife and your relationships, and even back to the board of directors, you said, yeah, that’s intentional work. Like all of that is intentional work.
Matty A: Yeah. I mean, and don’t get me wrong. It’s not like we have, you know, a Rosie Mary relationship, 24/7, right. We’ve done a load of work on our relationships at different stages and seasons of life. And you know, I consider my mom and my dad, both my best friends now, but that doesn’t mean that we haven’t had very fierce conversations at different points of that journey. And I think that’s also that healthy tension in any relationship. One of my favorite conversation and communication books by Susan Scott called fierce conversations, one of the great quotes that she shares in that book, whether it’s with an employee, a best friend, a mom, a dad, a child, is the relationship is the conversation, the conversation that you are having, or maybe the conversation that you aren’t having. And so for me, I’m an over communicator. I like to make sure that I’m not leaving anything on the table that shouldn’t be. And I want to make sure that I take every ounce and every opportunity being that I’ve you know, experienced some tragedy in my life of seeing people, you know, disappear like that and going, man, I wish I would have said more of these things or having some of the repercussions of saying something and, or not saying something. So I really am a big believer in having one framework that you can have healthy, constructive conversation, whether it’s good, bad, or indifferent, having frameworks that you can work within to kind of, you know, keep you in the lines, productively moving things forward. But most importantly frequency, right. Of just having those consistent conversations, because, you know, at the end of the day, it’s just like a garden, you know, or your mindset. You, we all have bad or negative thoughts, same thing with, you have to go in there and weed, those thoughts out every day. It’s the same thing with relationships you have to put in the work every single day, because complacency is the killer of all great things. And so I’m always making sure that I am, whether I want to, or not right. Creating those opportunities in those spaces for us to go in and do the work because that’s what’s required.
Mike Ayala: Yeah. I was actually watching a video on, I don’t know it this is just in my head, but I was watching a video of you and your daughter the other day.
Matty A: Which one? They’re both wild.
Mike Ayala: You were asking her a question. I think it was your older one. And you’re like, are you really going to? But I just loved the interaction. It wasn’t really even about what was said, but I just love the real interaction. And she was giggling and laughing. And it’s funny because I think a lot of people especially in this realm, cause you know, we’re talking about, you know, money and then just keeping all the gardens, but we have to be just as intentional around the conversations with our little people. And I was just so inspired by that. So I honor you for the way that, you normally have those conversations with your employees or your wife or your parents. Like I saw that with your child.
Matty A: You know, it’s funny talking about that is, you know, my wife and I both said, we’re not going to baby our kids. We’re not going to shelter them. You know, we will, I wouldn’t say not shelter them. We don’t want to necessarily expose them to things that we don’t need to expose them yet. However, as things come up, we’re not going to be like, oh, you know, we’re going to talk real to them. And I think that has reflected well in how they’ve continued to develop and grow themselves as little human beings. But one of the things that I think has made a huge difference for us, just like we have core values for our business. We created core values for our family. And, you know, we have all of these different core values that we ultimately, I go over the core values every single day with my daughters. And some days it’s, they’ll recite them back to me other days, it’s the eye roll and okay, dad. But it’s funny, you know, there’ve been many times we communicate and acknowledge good behavior and alignment with our core values. That’s also kind of the standards and the expectations of how we discipline when we’re out of alignment with our core values are not just for our kids, but for me and for my wife, you know, we were having a little argument the other day and my oldest, she goes, dad, you’re not talking with love, kindness, and respect right now to mom. And it was like, oh, shit, you know, I’m getting checked. But it’s beautiful when you create some guardrails around what you stand for, what you believe in, how you, don’t just be, I see a lot of people nowadays that are messengers. They can recite a lot of shit. They listen to this podcast, they read this book, they went to this conference and all of a sudden, they’re feeling real smart and savvy, but they don’t live the message. And to me that’s extremely important from an integrity perspective for many different reasons, but I don’t want to just be the messenger. I want to make sure that I’m living in congruence with my message and being that message. Because like you said earlier, for me, it’s all about being the best, not only version of myself, but when it comes to the context of my children, modeling their version, best version of themselves and what they want, what path they go down, that’s up to them to decide I’m not going to dictate what that looks like for them. But what I do want to do is set a bar and a standard really high on what is possible for them and how I lead and live my life. Whether that’s in my relationship and my marriage with my wife and how I treat her. So they expect and understand what a good, healthy marriage and man looks like treating another woman or at the same time, right. Going after my goals and my dreams or helping other people or how I go to the gym every day. My girls go, daddy, you done building your muscles today. Like, I want to make sure that I’m not just going and saying, these are the things you need to do in your life to be successful and happy and fulfilled, but that I’m actually being the one who’s going through the jungle and carving the path for myself so they can see that no matter what stands in front of you, you can do the same thing.
Mike Ayala: That is so good. And I love, you know, just circling back to when your daughter called you out on the core values, like I think that’s so valuable because even as she gets older you know, she’s looking for that. Not only in you guys in your family, but you’ve set that bar as you were talking about for everything that she’s going to look for in life. Other men in her life, other women in her life, bosses in her life, employees in her life. And then what I really love that you said is not only are you building that foundation for her, but then as they get older, you’ve built the framework for her to go off and develop her own next level core values too.
Matty A: Exactly. You know, for me, I try to one of my favorite quotes, I was in a mastermind with Gary Keller. If you’re in the real estate world, you know who he is. And one quote that I say probably a couple of times a week now is, I’m a loving human being, but my standards are not. And what I have found is a lot of people don’t have standards for themselves or for other people around them, whether it’s in their relationships, standards at work, standards around your health, you can, you know, extrapolate that across any area of your life. And that lack of clarity around what the standard is, creates this margin and room for you to play down to the lowest denominator. Versus if you set standards in your life in any area you know, the standards now become the bad guy. You don’t become the bad guy when you’re upholding the standards. It’s the standards that everybody in your world has opted into that you’ve opted into that, you know, going back to the context of our family core values is just like, Hey, we all agreed is what our family stands for, right? Yes. Okay, cool. Any changes that we want to make? No. Okay. So we’re all agreeing to this. And now once you’ve gotten that buy-in, whether it’s from employees in your company or family members or friends, once everybody is onboard and clear, crystal clear what those standards are. Now, the standard just becomes the standard that you can always reference and push back on instead of you being the bad person or whatever it may be. If somebody wants to opt out and step out from that standard, that’s their choice, but you never lower your standards. And so remaining ruthless with that, at least from what I’ve seen the most successful, fulfilled, happy people, they never sacrificed their standards no matter who it’s for. And that can be a really challenging thing, especially when you’re talking about family members, maybe it’s your mom or your dad, right? I mean, those are tough conversations to have, and yet they are also the answer to unlocking the things that you really desire and admire about other people that you see getting results and rewards it’s oftentimes because they never sacrifice their standards.
Mike Ayala: I’m like mind blown. I don’t know if I’ve ever even heard that. But I’m mind blown here. And I’m thinking of something that I heard, you know, most broken relationships are just misunderstandings and that could be personal relationships, that could be business relationships, employee, employer. And the reality is like what you just said about setting the standards. Like you know, I can be a loving person, but my standards are not like most of the time when something’s broken it’s because the standards weren’t set. And that just was like such an epiphany for me. I’m going to anchor that one down, because a lot of times it’s miscommunication, but it’s deeper than that. Because really like the standards weren’t set. And I love that. Like, that’s going to be one of those things.
Matty A: Setting that table is key. Cause then it just makes it so much easier to know how everybody needs to sit down to the table and what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Mike Ayala: Yeah. I’m going to be like 20 years from now and be like, yeah, one time I was having this conversation with this guy Matty. Yep. Love it. If you could narrow it down to one thing that has had the greatest impact on your success, what would that be?
Matty A: For me. I call it the, you know, I’ve always tried to narrow this down myself. I think everybody wants to know is like, what is my superpower? What is my zone of genius? And I know I’m really good at a few things. I’m not so great at a lot of things. And I’m, world-class at like one or two things. And when I really think about what that is, it’s connecting with people in a very genuine and authentic way. You know, I always remember my mom saying like, it didn’t matter who you were around, whether it was an old person, a young kid, a person, you know, sitting on the street panhandling for money. Like you just always found a way to go up and connect with people. And that really has opened up so many doors and opportunities for me in business, finance, but also in mentorships and friendships with people like you. And I was talking with a mutual friend of ours, David Osborne. And we were hiking Machu Picchu in Peru. And he was like, you know, what do you think one of your greatest talents is? And I was like connecting with people and he’s like, yeah, but what does that really mean? And it made me really think about it. And when I started thinking about it, I was like, I really don’t know what that is. I know I can just read people and connect with people and adapt and just meet them where they’re at and genuinely ask questions and listen, and find ways of adding value. But I was really trying to like put a framework on it and he goes, I just think, you are a really likable person. And so when I started thinking more about that one, I think every single human being has the ability to be more likable. And why? It’s a very simple formula. Like what I call the likability formula is humility plus confidence, plus hard work makes you a very likable person. Like we all know the people that when you’re around them, you’re like, man, I just like that person. I want to talk with them more, I want to invite them to my next party, or I just enjoyed being around them. And when you can be around somebody that can show up with just a genuine sense of humility, of like whether you actually know everything or you’re very successful or not, but you just show up with this humble servant attitude. It’s infectious, people admire humility in other individuals. Then you pair that with confidence of like, Hey, maybe I don’t know everything, or maybe I’m completely new in this job. And I don’t know anything about how I’m going to perform well or whatever context you want to apply that to, just being confident in who you are. Like, I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the years to where I’m just comfortable with who I am now. You know, I’m confident in who Matty A is. And when you can show up as the authentic organic version of yourself, you can be confident in your skills and your abilities to either figure out real strategy or, you know, trades and skills and things along those lines. But at the same time, you’re just confident in how you’re showing up as an organic individual in who you are. You pair that then with hard work, anybody that’s willing to just show up and work hard. I just being somebody that has worked really hard in my life for everything that I’ve gotten, I have an immense amount of respect for anybody that’s just willing to roll up their sleeves and work hard. There’s an asterisk next to this very, very last one, which is energy. If you can show up with energy to anything that you do, energy is infectious. And if you can be a charging station everywhere you go to give other some of your energy, some of your light, people may not even know it. I don’t know what it is about that person, but I really liked them, right? Energy compounded with all of those other variables, humility, confidence, and hard work makes you a really likable person. And I’ll just be honest. I’ve never been the fastest, smartest, or strongest, but I get invited to do things that I probably shouldn’t get invited to do. I get invited to do opportunities that I probably haven’t earned the right to do yet. You know, I could go on and on and on. And oftentimes when I ask people like, why are you helping me? Or why are you mentoring me? Or why are you inviting me to this? Or why are you giving me this opportunity? Usually it’s, I just like you man, and right, it’s followed up with something else, but it usually starts with that. And so I think that is one skill set that every single person could go, how do I show up more humble? How do I bring the confidence in who I am to whatever conversation or opportunity and work my butt off with a high level of positive energy every single day, you will be surprised at how many doors and doors behind the doors open up just from that one simple formula.
Mike Ayala: I mean that in itself could be a whole podcast, but I love unpackaging that a little bit. I love what you just said there, because for several reasons on the likeability front when you said, you know, why are you helping me? And a lot of times they say, cause I like you, that’s such a clue right there for people in itself. And I can attest to that because I’ve often even, you know, I don’t know if you ever struggle with this. I don’t as much as I used to, but as we’re going through, like, I’m like, why are so many people helping me? And like, what did I, you see people right next to you that are working harder than you and they’re not getting very far in life. And I know I’m amazing.
Matty A: Yeah, you are brother.
Mike Ayala: But honestly, I feel like I’m, I think you narrowed it down to like what really matters. And here’s what I want to ask you and unpackage on that. So there’s two parts to that, to the end there. So on the likability front, I remember, so even as a little guy we talked about this when I was on your podcast, Millionaire Mindcast, which is amazing, by the way, I’ve gotten such great feedback about your podcast and love listening to it. But when we were on there, I was talking about this a little bit. Like my childhood was rough and my dad was, you know, kind of in and out. And I had all the reasons to become a bitter, young little guy, but for whatever reason through all that, like the way that I looked at life, even when I was young, I didn’t get bitter. And I didn’t look at all the bad things. I was a happy guy. I was just a happy likable little kid. And I kept that. But as I got older and became an adult, even running business, and there’s a specific question that I have for you, but in 2007, 2008, like I started losing faith in humanity because, you know I was running a pretty big business and some things were going south. And, you know, I felt like people were just lined up with their hands out, even though, you know, we were struggling and I’m trying to save a business. And I just kind of got to this point, Matty, where I was like, I literally told Kara, I said, if I could find a business where I didn’t have any employees and any customers, like, I’d just be, I’d be ecstatic.
Matty A: You better let me know.
Mike Ayala: I know right. But I found myself, you know, when you’re talking about the likeability index life, life could have easily taking me down a road where I became an unlikable person. Because of outside circumstances, the way people were, oh, woe is me. You know, everybody hates me. So I snapped out of that really quick. Cause I’m like, this is not the life that I want to live. And so for a lot of people, you said something about the likability index, right. Is that what you called it?
Matty A: Yeah. Likeability formula index.
Mike Ayala: Well, and you said too, that you believe that everybody has the ability to be likable. And so if they’re not, I mean, does that correlate? I mean, has life just kicked their ass so much that like most people have their head down and they’re just not likable because of the way they look at life?
Matty A: Yeah. I mean, I think at the root of all of that it’s awareness, you know? And so that’s like, for me, again, I’m not the smartest dude. I just plug into frameworks that I know keep me you know, if we’re using the context of a bowling lane, right. Like I have frameworks in my life that create awareness for me to make sure that I’m not bowling, not only a week of gutter balls, but a month or quarter or a year, all of a sudden 30 years of gutter balls and you grow up and you’re this bitter, crusty old person, that’s upset and bitter at the world and angry at everything. I have days where I’m angry or bitter, of course. But it’s through that awareness that I know when I need to make sure I’m not going into the gutter. And I’ve got things that I know can put me back in the lane, whether I’m bowling strikes or not, at least I’m knocking down pins and I’m giving myself the best chance to show up as the person that I tell myself again, going back to that messenger and message, right. Of like what I tell myself in my mind. And I know we’ll talk a little bit about, you know, some of maybe my darkest moments, you know, that in congruency with who I say I am and say I want to be versus what I’m actually doing. You know, that is a choice. That is a choice that only I am responsible for. And so for me, I try and crate through, you know, daily rhythms and routines to give myself as much awareness that I know I need in order to make sure I’m doing the work that is necessary to get the result that I want. And so I think that’s, you know, just something for everybody. Frameworks and rhythms can look different based on you and your lifestyle and what goals you’re trying to achieve. But through the awareness piece, it’s like, oh shit, I’m way over here. I’m going down the wrong path here. Let me make sure I’m course correcting or through awareness, it might be like, dude, you’re crushing it right there. And that is working really well for you. Shit I wouldn’t even thought about that. Okay, let me double down on this. And so awareness for me is something that I try and create through my rhythms and frameworks every single day. So that way I can show up, whether or not I actually feel like being that person in that moment too. That’s another thing, right? It’s like there’s days that I literally am like, today my day and I really do want to bitch, and I do want to vent, and I do want to go do some of these things. And sometimes I do do that, but for not for very long. And so that for me, is just making sure that those guard rails will give you the ability to make sure that there’s course correction that’s needed. Or if there’s work that’s needed to be put in, you’re given the opportunity to do that. Now the follow-up to that is will you, that’s your choice.
Mike Ayala: I love what you said that too, because it leads into the next thing that you said an energy and my question around that, and you already answered this, but you know, people might be looking at Matty and be like, oh, he’s just like supernatural. He was born at 1% or born of 5% or whatever. And that’s just not true. You’ve done the deep work. And you gave us two tools right there. If you don’t feel like you’re a likable person, you know what Matt’s saying is like, do the work, you don’t wake up sometimes feeling likable. I literally have a rule. Like if I don’t spend as much time at the office. We had this conversation on your show. Cause I’m more of the visionary and I don’t spend a lot of time entrenched with the team. But honestly like back in the day, if I wasn’t feeling it and I couldn’t change my state, there’d be times where I just wouldn’t go into the office because I can’t pull that down. And if I can’t get out of that and I can’t show up a hundred percent, I’m not going to show up. And so you talked about the other thing, energy and the first thing that popped in my head, you know, some people might be thinking, well, you know, Matt’s just born high energy. And you said there was a little asterisk behind it. I don’t know what that means exactly. But you change your, just because you wake up and not feeling like high energy doesn’t mean that you don’t live life. Like you got to change your state.
Matty A: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, there you go. You said the word, the keyword there’s is state. And I think, you know, for me, I have been very intentional about building a bunker around my energy, a bunker meaning life is a war zone of energy zappers, distractions everywhere, gossipers, you know, negative news, people that want to talk shit about you. People that want to suck the life and energy right out of you. And for me, I’ve done going back to my standards, a lot of work around that and saying, I won’t tolerate this shit in my life. It’s just something that I will not do. I will not sacrifice my standard. And you know, when you think about right, the people that are just constantly trying to snipe you out of your own bunker, I have to put in that work every single day to make sure that I’m protecting that power plant of energy. So for me, not only is it building barriers and bunkers around your energy, but it’s also going where are my energy, you know, where are my battery chargers. Like who are the people, That’s one thing. And then the other side of it is, is what are the environments or places or activities that charge me, super charge me. And I build those into my days. Like I love coming into my office every day because it inspires me. It brings my energy up. I love being around the people in my office every day because they’re energy chargers. I love going to the gym and doing some of my morning routines and habits because they raise the levels of my energy, not drain me. And so I think you have to do that energy audit almost every single day, and then build your lifestyle, your relationships, your environments, around the things that lift your energy instead of drain your energy and mind you, you can’t protect all of that. You’ll go around certain people like, fuck, man, I can’t wait to get away from this dude. But at the end of the day, that’s just life. And you have to learn how to navigate that terrain, but at least knowing where you can go and plug into the things and protect yourself from the things that you don’t want very important when it comes to your energy.
Mike Ayala: Yeah, that’s so good. And I was just thinking, you were talking about like the office. I was listening to a podcast the other day with Joe Lonsdale and he was talking about the difference between an A plus player and an A minus player kind of in this context. And I was with Damien. I don’t know if you’ve ever met Damian Lupo, but him and I were talking about this. And it was interesting because I think a lot of times, even in the terms of energy, I mean, we could think about this in terms of qualifications too, but even in terms of energy, like he’s thinking of A plus versus A minus players. And I think a lot of times we’re thinking in terms of like B plus versus C minus players, right. And just even having, like, just even having people that I loved what you said about people that are chargers to you, because I’m so cognizant of that. Even if it’s neutral, like you can only be around neutral people so long, there’s a place for it. But a lot of times you got to find those places that are energy chargers. And that’s why when you find a place like GoBundance that I get so excited about it, because it’s rare. It’s rare.
Matty A: And that’s the reality and the truth of what that answer is, it is rare. And so it comes back to is, if you want an extraordinary life, you have to be willing to be around extraordinary people, set extraordinary standards, do extraordinary things on a daily basis. And, you know everybody that I love admire and respect that has, you know, this not only financial abundance in their life, but abundance in every areas of their life, they are consistently putting in the work on the extraordinary things every single day that when you tell an ordinary person, it almost makes them feel uncomfortable, like, Ooh, right. All of these stories and these excuses and these rationalizations of why that is excessive. That’s when I feel the tip of the cap of like, okay, I’m on the right path and this isn’t my person, or this isn’t my environment.
Mike Ayala: So good. Love it.
Matty A: I don’t judge them for that though. I just acknowledge that. And I make sure that I do what I need to do to make sure I’m on the path that I’m on.
Mike Ayala: I’ve actually created kind of like a framework for myself to keep myself in that zone of freedom. I call it where I’m soaring. And one of those is like never getting a situation where I’m trying to control someone, comparison, chaos, and confusion. Like I just have to stay out of those zones. Because I feel it, like I can feel when I’m in there and it’s just not a good place for me. So I just try to avoid it. I love the way that you’re so cognizant of your energy. And I think people need to be more into that, they need to be more in tune.
Matty A: It sounds woo, man. I mean, to be honest, like I came from a group of that I was, I guess, brought up with that, you know, was very masculine, sports. You know, you didn’t talk about energy. You didn’t talk about your feelings. You didn’t talk about a lot of the shit that I now live by and, you know, for people to kind of lean into that a little bit more, especially nowadays with a lot of the content that’s out there and available and retreats and you know, all this stuff, science that is supporting improving, you know, some of these woo type methodologies or theories or philosophies when you come into it with an open mind. And that’s one of the things that, you know, if we were to go back and say, another thing that has served me is I am very open-minded in the sense that I have strong, clear standards. And I believe in what I believe in, but at the same time, I am open to any belief in any perspective, any strategy, because by being open-minded to anything and everything, one, it’s either going to open me up and expose me to something better that will serve me at a much higher level when integrated into my life and adopted, or it’s only going to strengthen and create a greater bond with the stance and the belief that I already have. If I go into that close minded, I limit myself to so many possibilities that could hinder and prevent me from getting to the next level financially, in a business opportunity or in my marriage or in a relationship or whatever it may be. So being open-minded I think is so important. I mean, whether it’s Democrats and Republicans or it’s, you know, mass or no mass or it’s, whatever it is nowadays, because there’s so many polarizing topics that you can still believe in what you believe in, but be respectful enough to go into a conversation. And open-minded enough to go into a conversation or an opportunity going, I wonder what I’m going to learn here, listening to this person. And at the end of the day, they’re not paying your bills. They’re not raising your kids. They’re not doing anything ultimately that has control over your happiness and what your next decision is. And so I try and keep that in perspective to make sure that I don’t get sucked into that war techs of judgment or chaos or confusion, because like you said, right, that’s, that’s out of your zone of freedom or your zone of genius. And, and to me, it’s very easy to fall into that nowadays, especially for the people that just aren’t aware.
Mike Ayala: Well, and I mean, we could spend so much time, like, you know, resisting or you know, trying to change people’s minds. There’s a guy that used to work for me and he was always like, he was, you know, Bible, which by the way, I have my beliefs and there’s a lot in the Bible that I love, but he would always, he was always talking about like, he’s always trying to convince you through the word of God. And I always called it sword fighting. I’m like, bro, are you sword fighting again? Cause it’s like, you know, are you actually trying to help someone or are you trying to convince them to come over to your side of the world? And those are two different approaches. So I love, I’ve just learned to just stop fighting, like just kind of surrender. Yeah. It’s so good. I love it. What was your greatest setback and what’d you learn from it?
Matty A: I’ve had a lot of them I feel like, you know, I think that’s also what’s given me a lot of duality in life is a beautiful thing. Good, bad, ugly, beautiful. You know, happy, sad. And I feel like I’ve experienced a lot of different aspects of the spectrum in my life. You know, some of the things that I think, the biggest catalyst for me, so I got expelled from high school. And that was kind of like my first, oh shit moment in life. I got repercussions for my actions. But it was when I got arrested in college and I was, you know, facing a felony crime and it was like real repercussions for my decisions. And that created a sense of not only fear in me of this is what my new reality of life could be. But it also really made me reflect a lot on who I was and who I wanted to be and why I was where I was at in my life and who I was surrounding myself with. It was a, and I think we all have those moments, right, where you’re really like life smacks you so hard and face that you literally can’t do anything, but stop and take a moment of reflection. And that rock bottom for me was really kind of the fork in the road in my life. And I remember praying that if I had a second chance, really, it was a third chance at that time, that I wasn’t going to waste it. And not only was I not going to waste it, I was going to get an insane amount of ROI in that second chance. And so that really led me down a path of personal development and making some really hard decisions in my life, cutting friends and people out of my life, stopped doing certain things and going to certain places. And before life got a lot bigger and more exciting and sexy for me for a very long time, it got very small and narrow for me. And sometimes you have to go into the darkest places of your mind and your heart, and you know, your spirit by yourself, going back to that, you know, work that put in the work type of mentality. And that was something that really taught me one, your past doesn’t equal your future. Like whether you’re the most bad-ass motherfucker on the planet, you know, that doesn’t mean anything, you still, that doesn’t mean you’re going to be the baddest on the planet in a year’s time or five years’ time. And same thing, if you’re somebody who’s got a bunch of shit in your past that you’re not proud of, or you can change that too. And so every day I think is a beautiful gift that we’re given that I try and stop and just root myself in gratitude and be thankful for, but at the end of the day, I got to put in the work today, you know, I got to punch the clock and the car and make sure that I’m doing what I tell myself I’m committed to doing, because the root of all of that, where I find a lot of fulfillment and self-acceptance, and self-love, and the things that I know have me shown up as the best version of myself is being rooted in integrity. And when I’m lying to myself, lying to somebody else, or I’m not doing what I say I’m going to do, and I’m out of congruency with those values or with those things that I know I do need to be doing, I feel pretty shitty about myself and my life, my relationships, my work, it reflects that. Vice versa, when I live in that congruency and I’m in synergy with all of those things, and I feel what I call weaponized, you know, I feel very dangerous that there’s nothing in this world, good, bad, or indifferent that can prevent me from doing what I know I need to do. I might not get necessarily all the results that I want or when I want them. But I trust in the process that if I stay on that path and I’m in integrity with myself, I will unlock and accomplish what it is that I’m meant to unlock and accomplish.
Mike Ayala: It’s so good man. Like, I’m going to listen to this one probably five times, but I think sometimes when somebody from the outside sees somebody like you, they just thought of, man, Life comes easy to Matty. You know, like man, that guy is just lucky. You know, he goes into a freaking pile of shit and comes out smelling good, and that’s not true. Like you worked your ass off and you’re still working your ass off. And I think a lot of times too, people think they just need to work harder and it’s not always just working harder. It’s like working better and working harder in certain areas. You know, there’s people that work 110 hours a week and they’re not getting ahead in life. But then there’s people that, you know, you could literally go take a hundred hours, still work a hundred hours a week and just take 10 of those and work on yourself and become a better person. And you’ll get exponential returns on that. And that’s, I’m just listening to you. And man, you’ve just put in the work, like, that’s the thing you put in the work, you’ve done the work. You just said this a few minutes ago, you have to wake up every single day and do the work.
Matty A: Yeah. You know, I have this notepad in my shower because I always have my best thoughts in the shower. And so it’s called a sticky notes, or it’s something, it’s basically waterproof notes that you can take notes in the shower. So I’ll leave wife, you know, a little love notes, or we’ll make a checklist of, to do’s for the weekend. But I also would write down, you know, either just thoughts that I have or strategies that I want to implement. And that was one of the things that I wrote down maybe a month ago. And it was like, no matter how good life gets, or bad life gets, or how successful or how big your failures are every single day, you just have to consistently put in the work and trust that when you do that, you know, new things are going to be given to you and new opportunities are going to be given to you. And for me, you know, that’s just, I know that all of the greatest things in the context, cause I’m a fat kid at heart. I love eating good food. I love drinking good spirits. And so this analogy of like all the greatest things are made in the crock pot, not the microwave. And when you think about it in terms of wealth, when you think about it, in terms of your marriage, you think about it in relationships or all the greatest things they take time. And so for me, I try not to get too attached to the outcome of when it needs to happen, versus just trusting in the process of putting in the right work and being aware, knowing that I’m not going to do all the right things all the time, I’m going to have to make course corrections and adjustments along the way. But if I do that with the hard work and I stay aware, I’m going to bet on myself to figure out how to show up in the best way to give myself the best opportunity to get the outcome that I desire.
Mike Ayala: So good. What is the piece of advice you find yourself sharing the most? I’m sure we might’ve touched on this cause you’ve just dropped so much wisdom, but maybe we haven’t.
Matty A: No, I think it ties into no matter where you’re at in life, whether you’re a new entrepreneur, whether you’re worth $50 million, whether you are, you know, doing epic things or you feel like you’re underperforming you’re listening to this podcast because you’re looking for something that you can pull out and find some inspiration from, or integrate into your business or into your life and get some kind of better results. And so for me you know, when I’m constantly trying to challenge myself and challenge other people at the end of the day, I have doubts. I have fears. You have doubts, you have fears, everybody listening to this has doubts and fears. How we engage and interact with that narrative is I think something I’ve gotten a lot better with. Now I look at that fear is kind of a call to adventure. That doubt as an invitation to lean in. And so the number one thing that I probably recite to myself every single day especially in the moments where I feel inadequate or I don’t belong, or, you know, who am I to think that I can go and do X or Y or Z is this one statement is be dumb enough to believe in yourself and smart enough to take action on it every day. And so for me, again, I try and really remove myself out of the emotional aspect of being a human being, right. And all the highs and lows that we experience every day and go, what do I need to be dumb enough right now to continue believing in myself in and smart enough to just take consistent action on and it might, you know, it feels small to you in that moment. Or it might not feel big enough. But little things consistently done over an extended period of time, often compound into turning into really big and exciting and sexy things. And so for me, again, it’s just removing myself from that emotion, betting on myself every single day, whether I get the outcome that I want or not, I’m still going to believe in me. I’m still going to bet on myself and I’m going to take action every day. And I’m going to give myself the best chance to get the outcome and the wins that I’m looking for. So be dumb enough to believe in yourself and bet on yourself every single day, no matter what it is that’s going on in your life and dumb enough to take action, whether that leads you to a failure or not, you know, it’s a steppingstone of life. And I try and create more breadcrumbs along the path that I know I can continue to follow, to get to the, you know, the end destination that I’m looking for. Which for me, again, my definition of success is not a certain amount of money. It’s not a certain amount of accolades. It’s literally looking at a movie reel of my life, replaying over and going, holy shit, that was a hell of a ride. And if I go to my grave saying that I’ll die a happy man.
Mike Ayala: That’s so good, man. So I want to get into, I mean obviously if you know, people are listening to this point, they realize that you’ve had some success in your life, and I want to get into what you’re working on and how you got there. Cause you’ve done some amazing things. But first I want to circle back to the board of director conversation in all the areas. And we don’t have to spend a lot of time there, if you don’t want to, but do you literally have like people chosen that you go to for certain areas in your life as a board of director, like you’ve methodically thought that out and you meet with them consistently.
Matty A: Yeah. So that planner right there that I created the rich life planner has a page in it called the board of directors. And based on all the gardens of your life, I’ve got one to two people in every single one of those gardens, whether it’s a quarterly thing or it’s an annual thing. Sometimes people will be on there for a really long time. Sometimes you’ll put new people on there. You know, I’ll give you an example, Mike, you are on my relationship garden, you and another buddy named Lance because I really admire and how you show up with your wife and with your parenting and your kids. And so for me, when I look at like who my board of directors are, it could be somebody that I know, and I just want to be in closer proximity to, and I want to have conversations with, and I want to be around them and just grow through osmosis, but it could also be a virtual mentor, right? Like there were quarters or years that Tony Robbins was, you know, the only person in my personal development board of directors category. And I was just consuming his stuff or, you know, the David Osborne’s of the world who are just helping me sharpen my financial acts. So I think, again, it depends on everybody’s goals being different. What’s your goal? What are you really looking to accomplish? And for me, you know, there may be people that are going to help me in multiple gardens in my life, but then there may be people that I’m like, Hey, that guy is a killer with hotels and hospitality, but his wife hates him. He barely sees his kids ever, you know, he’s worked five-year straight without a vacation. I’m not going to let him speak into my life on anything else, but I’m going to soak up as much as I can on hospitality and hotels from this guy. And so again, getting very clear in reputation, outcome, track records, network, net worth, lifestyle. I kind of look at all of these things and go, what do I really want from this person, selfishly, and then from there, how do I bring value to that individual and, you know, have it be a reciprocal relationship, but I am very strategic in what I lean into and who I lean into. It’s not by accident. And so by at least giving myself that framework of the board of directors, I can be a little bit more purposeful and intentional about man, I’m struggling this week. And my garden over here is really low when I’m reflecting on things. Okay, well maybe I need to hit up Mike and, you know, just get a little pep, talk on how I can be a better husband and show up a little bit, you know more intentionally my marriage. But if I was just like, my marriage is stuck in this week. Okay, well maybe it’ll be better next week. And I didn’t have any purpose or any frameworks around that. Again, like I just look at the people who have what I want, and I look at how intentional and purposeful they are with everything, like the details are important and I’m not a details type of person. So I have to force myself through these frameworks to utilize them and leverage them in a way that I know will serve me, getting to where I want to go. And that’s really what success, I think in any area of life is. We don’t all want to do what we want to do you know when we know we need to do it, but you do it anyways, because it’s the outcome that really continues to propel you and the motivation has left you in those moments.
Mike Ayala: It’s so good, by the way, I’m honored to be on any list in that group.
Matty A: You’ve been on my gardens for the last year, man. And I mean, I know you hear this a lot, but you’re a very genuine, authentic person and people like that who have put in the work and not only put in that work, but gotten those results. I just have an immense amount of respect for you, and you’re just one of those dudes, man, I always enjoy getting to spend time and be around you. And you definitely got the likeability index that’s for sure.
Mike Ayala: Well, I appreciate it. I’m honored. I want to be respectful of your time. Are you good?
Matty A: Oh yeah, we’re good.
Mike Ayala: Okay, cool. So I want to pick your brain on something. You had David Osborne on an episode of the Millionaire Mindcast a while back, which we’ll link it in the show notes, that was fire. And I recommend everybody goes and listens to it. But I want to get your take on something that he said he was talking about the tribal council in his brain. Like I wanted to like call, like I wanted to ask you then, like, that was such an interesting conversation. Like what’d you take away from that? Cause you have your board of directors, but he was literally talking about the tribal council, like inside of him.
Matty A: I think I said it in the episode too, I was like, dude, I’ve never heard you say that before. I found it very interesting because at the end of the day, I think everybody says, and you know, don’t fact check me on this Mr. And Mrs. Fact-Checkers, but it was like, what? We human beings, we have 60,000 thoughts a day. And like 95% of them or something like that are the same thoughts every single day. And so when I think about some of the narratives that I have in my own head, I was like, thinking after that conversation, I found it very, I found myself being a little bit more aware of some of those conversations that I was having. And I think too now for me, I’ve kind of, I don’t want to say the negative self-talk is for sure still there or the fear or I’m here to protect you or you need to go and do this, whatever it may be. I’m just going back to that word awareness. I’m so much more aware of the chatter that I have in my head now, whether it’s consciously or subconsciously and how it infiltrates into my daily activities in life, how I’m leading my life. So for me, I’ve kind of become through some of my just, you know, awareness practices, I think more engaged with that conversation and gone well, you know, sometimes I have some dark thoughts, man. I mean, I’m not even going to lie, and I can’t really like, why the fuck did I just think that in my own head, like what is wrong with you? But it goes back to whether it’s a good thought, a bad thought and indifferent thought, if you’re aware enough to acknowledge what that is, the beauty is you can’t control the first one, but you can control the one right after that. Yeah. And so I think going back through that awareness piece of like that, that tribal council of going, you know, taking inventory of maybe what those conversations are looking like based on what goal or outcome you’re looking for, being a little bit more purposeful on what the next thought or the thought after that, or the thought after that is and just making sure that the conversation, you’re having is something that’s serving you instead of going in the wrong direction.
Mike Ayala: Yeah. I think that’s so valuable, such an open conversation too, because I think a lot of people have these you know, thoughts and they think that they’re alone in it. And we all have crazy thoughts. I was just, we were in Austin like two weeks ago and my daughter was talking about my daughter and my son’s girlfriend. They were having a conversation in the backseat about these crazy things that they think about doing sometimes. And they’re immediately like, why am I thinking that? Like, because they’re not actually going to act on it. And it reminded me this is irrelevant, but not because we all have stupid thoughts. I literally remember one time walking into this bathroom at a gas station and there was a plant there. And I seriously thought about taking a in that plant. Like there’s a toilet right there. And I’m like, what? Like, what am I even thinking? And this just goes back to these primal crazy thoughts. And I loved when David said that, and that’s why I wanted to get your take on it because I went through the same process. Like I’ve been tracking, I think I’ve been more aware of it. I think I’ve always been aware of it, but this like monkey brain comes up with some crazy shit.
Matty A: It is, it is crazy. I know. I Tim Grover had, you’ve heard of Tim Grover before. Tim has a chapter in his book and he actually just came out with a new book. But he’s got a chapter in his book about this dark side that we all have within us. And I found that to be a very actually empowering chapter in the sense that people want to like silence and are almost like, they want to like push that person under the rug or that thought under the rug. And if anything, I think it’s, you know, channeling those different energies or personalities or thought patterns again, in a way that serves you. Now, you know, you don’t want to do things that are out of character or out of alignment with your core values and who you are. But there are ways of using things that you might think are bad for you or about you in a very positive and oftentimes really even more exponentially powerful way. And so instead of trying to push those things away, I think if anything, it’s inviting them into the room and maybe having a conversation with those thoughts or exploring where those things come from, because there could be some cues and clues that unlock some pretty powerful stuff within you when you go and explore that stuff. Instead of just staying on this, you know, 95% of the same thoughts over and over and over and over again. And that kind of goes back to like that polarity or that duality. You know, I had a conversation at a spiritual retreat, and it was probably one of the most powerful things for me personally and how I live my life and this conversation basically consisted of, if you want to be the most powerful version of yourself, you want to be able to impact and help as many people as you possibly can on this earth while living your greatest life, then you need to know how to engage with every emotion on the spectrum. Whether it’s like dark and sadistic and twisted, or it’s, you know, sad and soft or it’s joyful and happy, whatever it is, right? Every end of the spectrum. And I think oftentimes right, we compartmentalize and box ourselves into only the stuff that might feel or seem or be acceptable versus actually exploring and sitting in some of that shit and the nasty conversations or the weird or odd or not so, you know, fuzzy thoughts and feelings. And when you can do that in a way where you can somewhat unemotionally know that it doesn’t define who you are and what your next step is, you’re going to learn stuff about yourself that may serve you in so many cool ways that you could have never imagined because you just decided not to go there. And so that’s something that I’ve kind of going back to that tribal counselor or whatever you want to call it, is just being again more open-minded and going well, all right, well, what was that all about? And kind of figuring that out, but knowing where your flag is planted, knowing what your north star is, it is so important, because I’m down to go off a little side trail, no problem. Let’s go down a rabbit hole or let’s go take this random trail that we have no idea where it goes. But as long as I know where my north star is, I always know where to go back to.
Mike Ayala: That’s so valuable, Kara and I were actually having this conversation the other day and a group that she’s in, they were talking about like even those emotions and going into those places. And a lot of times, even, you know, anger, anger is probably one that we suppress the most because when we’re angry about something, we were on a high level of emotions. And usually the reaction around anger is a negative one. And so we learned to suppress that army and our parents even, you know, I’ve got, one of my sons is like very, very I mean, he’s going to go far in life. They’re all going to go far in life, but he’s like high energy. But he also, when he was younger, he’d get like really angry and we’d be like, why are you so angry? Like, why are you so mad? And like, we’re programmed to suppress those feelings and those emotions. And Kara was talking the other day about like, you know, when we’re angry, we should, when somebody says joy, like we want to express joy, happiness, love, peace. Like, but when we start talking about anger or, you know, backlash or, you know, different negative energies, like we suppress them. And the reality is like, all those emotions and feelings are just, they’re just gauges. They’re just telling us something that’s got us set off. And a lot of times anger specifically, we really suppress that. And what I’m like hearing through this as exploring that, not just with emotions, but even things in life, exploring that is valuable, because there’s something in me that if I could just measure every time, I’m angry and what it is that’s making me angry, I could probably eliminate that from my life, but we just suppress it.
Matty A: There you go. Right there, I think that was a perfect exclamation point on why being open-minded and leaning into that kind of stuff is so important because especially in today’s world, there’s so many negative stigmas on so many things that I think really, especially when we’re talking about mental health, right. Like, you know, my first mentor was like, I was, you know, I think it was my first real estate deal and it was falling apart. And whatever it was, and he could tell, I was just like, I was all up in my head. I was all fucked up. I was twisted. I was upset about everything, but I was like, trying to show up. I was the, you know, happy go, lucky dude. And he’s like, dude, your mind is a scary place. Like don’t stay up there alone for too long. And so I think, you know, not only can we explore that by ourselves, but you know, being around the right people to have these kinds of conversations and know that, Hey, they’re just really successful and happy and fulfilled people that, you know, aren’t positive all the time. And they have challenges and mental health struggles, every human being does. And so, you know, giving yourself permission to be open and vulnerable about that stuff, especially for men, I think is really important because oftentimes we don’t give ourselves permission to do that. And it’s very toxic. It’s harmful.
Mike Ayala: I love also what you said about, you know, just exploring other things. You know, I have my north star when it comes to my spirituality and my core beliefs, but I’ve been really cognizant lately. I’ve heard a lot, I’ve heard this a lot in the last few months, like people, that doesn’t fit. They don’t want to, I heard Barbara Corcoran, I don’t even know where this was, but somebody asked her like, if you had to attribute your success to one thing, what would it be? And she said, tarot cards. And I was like, what?
Matty A: I pull one every day.
Mike Ayala: Really?
Matty A: So I’ve got a couple of different decks, but this is like an animal spirit one. This other one is the wild unknown. And I was like, dude, that’s weird. That’s blue, Like, and I had some religious friends and like, don’t be playing with the devils cards, you know, like all kinds of weird shit. I’m going to be open-minded to this and to me, like you said, whether it’s tarot cards or whatever it is, I create what meaning I give things, you don’t create it for me. Like you don’t dictate how I think or engage with something. That’s not your right to tell me those things. And so I will receive your feedback, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to live through or buy your feedback. And I think being confident again in who you are and what you believe in, and just being more open-minded to things, you know, the old, you know, 20 year old Matt would have been like, that’s fucking weird, man. You know, they’re weird. And now I’m like, I’m just so open-minded to everything because the more open-minded I am to the weird stuff or just the normal stuff or everything in between that’s the journey of life. And kind of peeling back the layers of the onion to not only your mindset, but you know, your physical experience that you’re having and, and all the people that you get to do those things with as well. And so that’s why I like to try and come from a place. Do I judge, of course I do. We all do, but I really try and check that judgment at the door and leave, drop those bags, and go into it with an open mind because I love learning. I’m a student of life and I’m always looking for my next teacher and that could be my daughter. It could be my dog. It could be the homeless dude down the street, you know, panhandling on the corner. It could be the grocery clerk. It could be the CEO of the, you know, most profitable company in my town. I don’t know. But it’s my job to go out and find out who those teachers are through those experiences. And the more minded I am, the less teachers I find that can really impact my life.
Mike Ayala: Yeah. And I love that, you know, whether it’s the Tarot cards or, you know, our preconceived ideas and anything remaining curious and open, like you said, something earlier that really stuck with me, you were talking about the hotel guy and, you know, he might not be great in these areas, but he’s great in this area. And I think a lot of times we look at someone and there might be an area of them that doesn’t relate to us. And so we just closed down everything and we’re like, well, I don’t like the way that that guy talks to someone or whatever. And the reality is you’re never going to find a perfect human. You’re never going to find a perfect, like Tarot card box. And so I think remaining curious is so important because I think we tend to just shut everything down and I can learn something from anyone in anything. Like just remaining curious. I love it. So good. We haven’t even talked about what you do, man.
Matty A: That’s how you know, we’re having a good one.
Mike Ayala: I mean, I could just, you can point us to a podcast, or we can talk about what you do. I’m open.
Matty A: Yeah, I mean, you know, for me, I got my, my journey has all been in real estate. I started real estate right out of college. And, you know, I started by becoming a realtor because I really wanted to just be my own boss and I wanted unlimited earning potential and, you know, no cap on what I could make financially. I wanted to help people achieve their goals. I wanted that lifestyle design, but I also want it to be in a space that not only checked all those boxes, but actually, you know, it was money motivated. I wanted to create wealth. And so real estate kind of checked all those boxes. And I ended up interning with a guy for about 10 months for free and kind of learning real estate. And he was flipping a lot of houses and that kind of got me on the path of seeing, you know, real estate investing. And I found my first flip when I was 21 and funded it a hundred percent using other people’s money and, you know, learning from other mentors who kind of helped me structure the deal. And after I did that, first one, I netted like $106,000 on that flip. And I really never looked back after that. I started flipping houses and I was mind you building a real estate team at the same time, we were, when I exited my real estate team. We were two years back to back wall street journal, top 1000 real estate teams. And I really realized that I wasn’t passionate about the retail side of real estate, but I was really passionate about the investing side of real estate. And then that kind of led me into so many different other you know, I guess steppingstones in my journey. I started, I realized that, you know, we talk right in our world vertical income, meaning you have to show up every single day to earn that paycheck versus horizontal income, I.E or your mailbox money. It just comes whether you’re there or not. And I realized that I needed to start generating some, you know, mailbox money. And so I started buying single family doors and then I started you know, buying commercial strip centers. And then I started buying hotels. And that kind of stumbled my way into the private equity world and, you know, high net worth family offices and kind of helping them place equity and identify assets to trade on. And so it’s kind of been this ladder climb in the real estate world. And as you know, right, there are so many different facets of real estate investing. You say, I want to be a real estate investor. And it’s like, where and how, because there’s so many different ways and that’s the beauty of it too. And you don’t need to know everything, and you don’t need to have a ton of money and you don’t need to have big teams and you can at the same time. Right. But for me, I’m just, I’m so passionate about real estate and I love, you know, I’m a deal junkie. I love the hunt of a deal. I love structuring deals. And then I love executing on them and seeing them actually come to fruition. And then, you know, looking up after 12 years of doing this going, wow, I’ve actually covered some pretty cool ground and done some really great things and accumulated some really great assets. And so now my flag is planted kind of in the hospitality vertical and buying boutique hospitality assets and really not only having the benefits of a hard tangible asset, but also an operating business within those assets that create great cash flow. And then the third piece of why I love hospitality is, you know, I can’t take my family or my friends to any one of my commercial strip plazas or, you know, my commercial buildings or my single-family properties and invite myself into somebody’s house or business and enjoy it. But I can do that with, you know, my hotels up in Tahoe. I can create memories and experiences. And that’s one of the things that I think is a part of my mission and purpose here on this life is to create epic memories and experiences, not only for myself and my family selfishly, right? Cause I think we all want that, but to be a catalyst and to create space and opportunities for other people to do that. It gives me so much joy and pride knowing that one of my assets has, you know, created a family memory that they will never, ever forget. And you know, when you look at the PNL every month and you know, the benefits of real estate that just is icing on the cake. So that’s why I have really fallen in love with hospitality. I’m working on a ground up boutique hotel with a fellow GoBro and buddy of ours Jake Harris, we’re doing an opportunity zone development, boutique hotel on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. I’m hoping to hear back on my third hotel in lake Tahoe this next week. So some exciting stuff happening on that front, for sure.
Mike Ayala: That is so cool. And I love, I was thinking about it when I said, we haven’t even talked about what you do yet. And it led, you kind of wrapped this up and like put a bow on this thought for me, because at the end you went through everything that you do, but then you brought it back to like who you are and why you’re doing it. And when I said that, like, we haven’t even talked about what you did yet. It like triggered cause the go-to question is, you know, what do you do? And our whole conversation has been like, who are you? And like, what are your core? And those are the conversations that I’ve loved and found myself loving even more the last couple of years is like, I’m going to stop asking people what they do and I’m going to start asking them, who are you? It’s just, I had such an epiphany when we said that. Cause I’m like, you know, it really doesn’t matter what you do.
Matty A: That’s my takeaway for today. Because right, when you go meet people, it’s this resume and, you know, track record of how bad-ass you are and all the cool that you’ve done, you know, in business and how many sales you’ve done, or how many assets under management you own or whatever it may be. And all that stuff is cool. But I agree with you more, like I get way more fired up and excited and inspired by who someone is than what they’ve done, or I guess what they have. And so that’s why, like, you know, I don’t get, I’ve never been starstruck in my life. I don’t get star-struck by anybody. I’ve met lots of celebrities. I have, you know, professional athletes invested in my deals with me. And I really, I want to know who people are and what they stand for, why they do what they do versus, okay, you’re a three-time NBA champion. Yeah. That’s pretty cool. And tell me more about your, I love spending time with my wife and my kids, and these charities and that stuff fires me up more. So I love that you said that cause, I don’t really engage conversations like that. I think I do it in maybe a roundabout way, but like, are you? Tell me a little bit more about who you are instead of being like, Hey, so what do you do for work?
Mike Ayala: Yeah. And I think even in the podcast world, like sometimes when we have guests on where, you know, maybe our audience doesn’t know them or they’re not celebrities or well-known, we have to, I think we feel like we have to…
Matty A: You got to set the table.
Mike Ayala: Okay. First off, this guy is a bad-ass, so you need to listen to him. Cause we’re going to get to the meat later, but here’s what he’s actually done. And usually I do set the context, but we just even go there, man. We just dove in. So yeah, that was a good epiphany for me too.
Matty A: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Cause that was great. And thank you for having me on man. I mean, I love what you do. I love the content that you share, the consistent value you bring to other people. I know your listeners echo and you know, believe in that as well. And that’s why they keep coming back. But you know, being on this was one of the more fun podcasts that I’ve been on in a long time.
Mike Ayala: Thank you. I appreciate you coming on. So we’ve talked about the Millionaire Mindcast. You’ve got an amazing podcast. People can find that on all the platforms. Where else, where else should they go find you?
Matty A: They can, I mean, social media, my handle across all platforms is just official Matty A. The www.richlivestore.com or www.millionairemindcast.com are the two. Anybody that’s interested in, you know, connecting with me can always, you know, reach out to me on my social media or any accredited investors that want to connect and learn more about different deals that we’ve got going on or are, you know, raising capital for, they can just text the word deals to (844) 447-1555. That’s kind of a cool way to look at some of the different opportunities that, you know, kind of come through my funnel, my network. But just in general, say what up say hi, I love connecting with people that have listened to the show. If there was one thing that stood out to you or, you know, resonated with you. All I encourage people to do is, you know, you don’t need to do 10 or 20 things. Just pick one, pick the one that you feel like is the biggest domino that would make the biggest impact for you based on what your biggest rock is that you’re focused on and chipping away at. And let the dominoes, you know, fall in, and see where they take you.
Mike Ayala: Yeah. And then listen to this particular show, like every week for the next like three years and pick one, cause Matty gave us like so much. I mean, dude, that was like, that was so much value. So one thing the rich life planner, is it still available?
Matty A: It’s sold out 2021 version is sold out. We have the digital version that’s available on the store. And then we’ll be opening up the store here in, you know, late Q3 for pre-orders on the 2022. And we’re actually going to be doing an undated one as well.
Mike Ayala: Awesome, Exciting. Yeah. That struck something in me. I want to see that. Well, I appreciate you coming on, man. It’s been awesome. And I can’t imagine anybody not wanting to invest in that new hotel that’s coming up. I mean, I’ve seen the decks and everything. It’s cool. It’s awesome.
Matty A: It’s going to be a fun one. I appreciate you having me on brother. And will I see you in Steamboat?
Mike Ayala: You will. I will be there.
Matty A: See you in a couple of weeks then.
Mike Ayala: Okay. Cheers brother.