On this episode of Investing for Freedom, Mike discusses four guidelines he used this weekend at his couple’s mastermind and discusses what benefits these guidelines could provide for you.
“I would just encourage you to find a bigger room. Whether it’s a mastermind, whether it’s a small group of accountability partners. There’s so many different communities and I would really encourage you and challenge you to just find a community that will help you become the best version of yourself.”
0:00 – Intro
1:21 – Mike speaks about his realization that we spend a lot of time in our heads, we don’t spend a lot of time just being.
2:10 – Mike discusses some guidelines he set for the weekend. Guidelines such as having a judgment-free zone.
2:43 – Mike encourages you to do some deep work around judgment-free zones as usually, judgment comes from insecurity.
3:49 – Mike reminds you that comparison is a thief. The more you set aside comparison, you have your own life.
4:38 – Mike encourages authenticity, he explains that to truly connect you need to be yourself, be authentic.
5:10 – Mike’s final guideline was becoming more. Ask yourself, who do I have to become?
6:18 – Mike reminds you that the key to a successful marriage that as long as one partner is engaged and strong, you can make it through anything. This can relate to any relationship, friends, partnerships etc.
7:09 – If you’re interested in joining the mastermind next year, contact Mike @TheMikeAyala on Instagram or text the word “COUPLES” 480-531-7519.
7:26 – Mike encourages you to join a community that challenges you to be the highest version of yourself.
Thank you for joining me on the Investing for Freedom podcast. I’m coming to you from Park City, Utah right now. Where Kara and I are spending a few days with some of our mentors and some friends that we’ve already known and then a bunch of friends that we didn’t know and just getting to know each other. We’re actually here to mastermind with Chris and Lori Harder that we joined this year and it’s kind of a different level mastermind. I mean, it’s really just about building relationships and going on trips with high-performing couples and we’re just having an amazing time.
But what I really wanted to talk about was just kind of talk to you a little bit about this last weekend. Kara and I did the couples mastermind, which if you’ve been following us, you have probably heard about it. Just such an amazing weekend of fulfillment and the couples that flew in from all over the country that signed up for the mastermind with us this year. Just couldn’t have asked for a better group of people and just a better weekend.
But there’s a few things that I really wanted to just kind of talk to you guys about that we really just set the intentions around the weekend and I would encourage you a lot of times we’re talking about, you know, becoming the average of the five people you spend the most time with and who you surround yourself with. And what I realized this weekend is a lot of our time is spent really just in our heads. And one thing that my coach has been working with me on is you know, we spend a lot of time having, we haven’t spent a lot of time doing, but we don’t spend a lot of time being. And that’s one thing that I think getting intentional about being in rooms like we were in this last weekend with our couples in the mastermind and then the house that we’re spending some time within park city. It’s super important just getting some time where you can just be and become a deeper version of you.
But here’s something that I think is cool that you’ll appreciate. So we set some guidelines this weekend you know, and obviously a lot of this starts in our head and it’s outward going, but here’s some of the guidelines that we set. You know, number one was just have a judgment-free zone. Number two was no comparison. Number three was authenticity. Number four was become more. And one of the things that we really set around this, the key to a successful marriage or partnership is really in Kara’s words, as long as one of us has always engaged and remained strong, we can get through anything and that’s really one of the values around being in a mastermind like this. So I’ll back up to the judgment free zone.
It’s really cool getting into an environment like this because you know, one of the things that we set, we all have challenges with this and it’s super easy to judge and a lot of that comes from our insecurities. And so I would just encourage you know, when you’re going deeper and you’re in a room, whether it’s a conference or whether it’s a mastermind or a zoom call, or, you know, with other employees around, you just really do some deep intention, some deep work around the judgment-free zone, because most of that comes from our insecurities. And I really realized this weekend, we set that intention to not judge one another and just be an open book to share whatever it is we were dealing with. That just opens up such a level of depth in the relationships. And again, even though, you know, a bunch of us didn’t even know each other, it was the first time we had actually met we’ve had zoom calls, but first time we were met in person and most of the couples had never actually met Kara and I. I had met them through the zoom calls, but this was the first time in person. And so really, you know, just setting that judgment-free zone is super important.
But I would encourage you as you’re building deeper relationships again, whether it’s formal informal set those boundaries around judgment-free zones, like do your best to really not judge people. And then number two, we set the intention around no comparison. And one of the things that we talked a lot about is comparison is a thief. And we spent so much time just doubting ourselves and really comparing ourselves to other people that are around us and in the world. And I would really challenge you to just think about that. And every time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else or being jealous of someone else, and again, these are things that all of us as humans deal with, but the more you can set that aside, you have your own life, you have your own passion, you have your own purpose, just set aside comparison. It gets you nowhere, comparison is a thief. It’ll just take away from you. And I think, you know, so many of us have spent so much time in our life comparing our life to someone else or something else that we really want. And we’re really not leaning into being happy with just who we are.
The third thing is authenticity. So here’s what I said about that. So to truly connect, we have to show up as our authentic self. One of the things that, you know, I mentioned to the couples is that, or even the individuals is that we may even meet a new version of ourselves and we probably really should. I think we should spend a lot of time in our life in our heads. And, you know, as you really start just being authentic, showing up as who you are you will start to meet a deeper, better, higher version of yourself. And then the last thing that I’ll just say real quick is becoming more. So I always ask the question and, you know, you may or may not have heard this depending on how many episodes you’ve listened to, or, you know, following me on Instagram or whatever who do I have to become? And this is not necessarily changing who you are, but rather letting go of all of this trauma pain, insecurities, the bravado, the fear, that thing that keeps us from being our highest self. You’re already enough. You just have to shed some of those limiting beliefs and fears. And I would just encourage you, I’m going to keep this episode short, but I would just encourage you to find a bigger room. Whether it’s a mastermind, whether it’s a small group of you know, accountability partners. I talk about GoBundance a lot, there’s so many different out there. There’s so many different communities and I would really, really, really encourage you and challenge you to just find a community that will help you become the best version of yourself. So I really just wanted to share this with you.
And then the last part, I mean, obviously the, the couples mastermind was all about this, but the key to successful marriage, like I said you know, Kara has said this so many times, but as long as one of us is always engaged and strong we can make it through anything and what I’ll carry that over, even outside of a marriage and just even in friendships and deep relationships just being super sensitive, all those four things that I talked about, the judgment free zone, the no comparison. The authenticity and becoming more, those are all super big keys to becoming a better, higher, stronger version of yourself. And whether that’s in marriage or friendships or business partnerships or whatever it is, as long as one of you is always on sometimes you know, you’re going to be the strong one and sometimes you’re going to need the strong one in your life.
So you know, if you’re interested in joining the mastermind next year, just make sure you DM me on Instagram @TheMikeAyala or text the word couples or text the word couples to (480) 531-7519. Again, couples to (480) 531-7519. But whether you decide to join our couples mastermind or get into something else, I would highly, highly, highly encourage you to find yourself a community that’s going to challenge you to be the highest version of yourself. Thanks and have a great day.